The Blog of Jade and Ryan

Yesterday, as I do on the 15th of every month, I went to pay certain bills that happen to be due. Apparently when I get paid, other people expect to get paid too. One of these people is CitiCards. I have a credit card through them, and once a month I pay them some money, as that is what I am contractually bound to do. Well, yesterday when I log in, I see a notice in bright red letters that says something to the effect of "your account security may have been compromised; we have restricted online account access, and have issued you a new card. Please call customer service to make any changes to your account." So of course, my first instinct is to panic, as I am thinking all of the 900 number charges must have set off some fraud alert. But, I calm down and decide to call customer service, if for nothing else, just to pay my bill.

So I call the number listed, and am instantly greeted by a "voice recognition response system" that doesn't understand I word I am saying. I never learn with these things though, and I always try to speak hoping this one understands me. I will say something like "Make a payment" and it will reply "Did you say 'Add another authorized user to this account?" It's no wonder my account was able to be compromised with default suggestions like these. So I resort to pushing buttons, which I am equally bad at, as my fingers are larger than the buttons, my credit card number is 16 digits long, and the "close enough" standard doesn't apply. So, I finally get through the introduction (name, card number, why are you calling, who is your daddy and what does he do, etc...) and they are ready to help me. I push the option to pay my bill. It then informs me that they will be charging me a $14.95 fee for using this service. I quickly reply "are you out of your mind?" to which they reply "did you say 'send a cash advance to another cardholder?" So I navigate back to the main menu and press the right secret combination (***000###) to get to a real person.

After enough time on hold that I could have hunted down and killed the person that compromised my account, a person comes on the other end of the line. This gentleman technically speaks English, though I can understand him about as well as the automated system could understand me. So he then proceeds to ask me all the questions that I already answered for the computer, which begs the question where did they send all that information to when I just answered it? So, I answer his questions the best I can, and he asks how he can help me. I explain to him the notice I saw when I logged on, as well as my concern about the 900 numbers, to which he replied "no need to worry sir, this was a whole batch of accounts that was affected, not just yours." Oh, that makes me feel much better. Thanks for putting my mind at ease. Glad to know it wasn't a freak occurrence, but incompetence on the part of the company. At any rate, he allows me to make my payment over the phone without paying the $14.95, and asks me if there will be anything else he can help me with. I tell him no, and he says, "and I trust your new card has arrived already." I tell him it has not and he says he would like to verify my address. Amazingly enough they have my old address, which they have now just sent a credit card to. I tell him I have moved and he replies, "Sir, I must stress to you the importance of keeping your address up to date." Excuse me? Allow me to stress to you the importance of not allowing my personal information and card number to get compromised. It's probably a good thing I didn't tell you I moved, otherwise you probably would have let that information be compromised too. So he was nice enough to update my address for me, and cancel the card that was no doubt already in the hands of the person who moved into my previous place.

From what they say, I should see my new card in 5-10 business days. I can't wait to see whose card they send me, as I am sure it is just going to be a random person from the compromised batch. Maybe a person that used to live here, but has since moved, and never had the importance of updating their address stressed to them. If anyone out there receives my card by mistake, I would appreciate it if you would forward it to me. My address and personal information is probably for sale somewhere by now, so it shouldn't be hard to find me.

-Ryan