The Blog of Jade and Ryan

For some reason today, on almost every channel I turned to there was some sort of show from the 90s. It seems for years ABC Family has been showing non stop re-runs of Full House, Saved By The Bell, Step by Step, and Family Matters. Will there ever be a time where they'll stop showing these? The funny thing is, every time I see one of them, I just sit there and stare in fascination. Even on Full House with their cheesy morals, I'm still hooked.

I was watching Saved By The Bell, probably one of the most unrealistic high school shows ever, and noticed that pretty much all the cast has gone on to be weirdo's. Normally in a show, one of them grows up to be a crazy mofo. In Full House, Jodie Sweeney went all druggie and got addicted to Crystal Meth, Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains became a Christian nut that tries to disprove every other religion, and Danielle Fichel from Boy Meets World is just straight up insane. You'd hope with SBTB (Saved By The Bell) that only one of them would be crazy, but this isn't the case.

Mario Lopez, Slater, after his jerry curl and dimple years were over, went on to probably have the longest career out of all the stars on the show. Not only that, but he married Ali Landry who was some sort of a Dorito's commercial hottie. I guess she wasn't enough for him because next thing you know she's asking for an annulment because of him cheating on her with multiple partners. Yikes. Apparently he hasn't stopped being a man-whore and probably has STDs by now.

Elizabeth Berkley, Jessie, is most known for her crazy scene in SBTB where she gets addicted to caffeine pills and starts going AWOL.

Her taking drugs and singing, "I'm so excited" was apparently not enough. She had to go get naked and wave her hoo-haw in everyone's faces. After her movie, Showgirls, was labeled an absolute failure, she decided to "bounce back" and redeem her image by creating an "Ask-Elizabeth" website for girls with self-esteem issues. Are little girls going to take one look at that picture and think, "Oh dear, I'm having self-esteem issues. I want to ask her a question to help fix my problems". Nice try, Elizabeth Berkley. You're better off sticking to your caffeine pills.





Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech, has probably the most hilarious before and after story. His days of puberty are definitely over. In 2006, he made a sex tape with a bride-to-be and bridesmaid clearly for publicity. His manager said that he hoped his client's status would be raised with this video. Of course, it wasn't. I'm pretty sure this is just creepy. It's definitely up there with the Mini-Me sex tape. How can you even take someone seriously and sexy when all you can remember is constant voice cracking and high pants from their teenage years? If that wasn't enough, he made a deal with some publisher to write a book about the dirty days of SBTB and what all the sinful things the cast members were involved in. So, he's a sex-a-holic, and a traitor. Thanks a lot, Screech.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Zach Morris, was the main douche on SBTB, not only was he a ladies man on the show, but he was one off too. In the entire series he not only dated all three girls: Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa, but he also dated all three in real life too. When he finished the show, he wanted to get as far away as possible from sitcom life, and headed towards greasy drama shows like NYPD Blue that no one ever cared about. After a while he started to look greasy himself. Changed his hair color, got rid of the smirky attitude, and developed some real balls. Yet, as much as he tries to run from his after-school special past, he will still always be remembered as that guy that thought he was too cool for school.

The other two, Tiffani Thiessen and Lark Voorhies (Kelly and Lisa), ended up to be alright so far. Tiffani went on to do Melrose Place and a few other shows, while Lark continued to shove her Jehovah's Witness beliefs in everyone's face. Although, Lark was apparently outed by a gossip magazine for taking drugs, but that ended up to be a sham after she sued them and won. Maybe there will be some juicy gossip about them in Dustin's "tell all" book that'll probably never be released. I don't know about you, but I want to hear all the dirty gossip on Mr. Belding. Ohhhh yeah.

-Jade